Ten Year Old Memory
by Mystic Dragon
Summary: Murder is unforgivable, but even more so when a child is the victim. The key to solving this latest development is somewhere in Shinichi's memory...the only problem is, he doesn't remember it. This time, the truth he has to find lies within himself.
1. Chapter 1

Don't own Detective Conan or its characters, so don't sue! If I owned the series, it would have ended already so that Ran and Shinichi can finally get together.

Notes:

"Niichan" means "Big Brother", and is often used by small children when referring to someone older than them that isn't yet an adult, like a teenager.

Warning:

This chapter, and some future chapters, contain some content that can be classified as 'disturbing' since it deals with children homicides. That can bother anyone (even me, and I wrote the blasted thing), but if you think you'll be disturbed by it, then DON'T READ.

* * *

**The Ten Year Old Memory**

Chapter 1

_His head hurt, and he felt something trickle down the side of his face. He figured it was either blood or sweat. When he opened his eyes, he realized why he couldn't move his arms…they had been tied behind his back as he sat slumped against a cold wall._

_Where was he?_

_How had he gotten there?_

_He didn't remember._

_A glance around the room told him that it was small…perhaps the size of a storage closet. It was too dark to discern anything else in the room, and the only source of light was a small sliver that came through the doorway across from him._

_Right…he had been in the park, practicing soccer…_

…

…

…_then what?_

_Pain._

_Yea…there was pain._

_Did someone knock him out and bring him to this place?_

_That was the logical explanation. _

_Even at eight years old, he was ahead of his time. A month ago, he had solved a complex puzzle given to him at school. Even Agasa couldn't solve it, nor could the police or Ran's father, whom they had met along the way._

_But he did._

_So, he was able to figure things out._

_If he had been playing in the park, then was hit on the head and dragged here…_

…_it meant he had been kidnapped._

_But who would do that?_

_Though his ears were still ringing a bit, he made out the sounds of footsteps as they drew closer. Heavy footsteps…an adult._

_As some of the light beyond the door was obscured by a pair of boots, he had a feeling that he would very soon find out what he had been wondering._

_The knob turned…_

***

Shinichi woke up with a start, and sat up just as fast. Sweat rolled down his forehead as he panted for breath. After a moment, he realized that he was at home, in bed, and it was the early hours of the morning.

The teen looked out the window of his room. _It's been two months since I returned to normal. I spent a good third of that time in the hospital after Hattori, Kuroba, and I went after the Organization. Even with the FBI there, it got ugly._

He had dreams about it off and in for the first month he had returned to normal. Sometimes, he would wake up in a silent panic and wonder if the destruction of the Black Organization was all a dream, and he was still trapped in the body of a seven year old child.

He didn't tell anyone about his panic attacks, though he had a feeling that his parents knew about them.

That's right…his parents had returned home when they heard from Agasa about the defeat of the Black Organization…and that their son was in the hospital.

Sometimes, they still traveled around, but his mother, Yukiko, seemed a little more reluctant to leave him now.

Perhaps they _did_ know about his nightly panic attacks.

Seeing dead bodies didn't bother him. Seeing a murder didn't bother him.

Well, it _did_ bother him, but not enough to let his emotions override his analytical side.

But the dreams…they were enough to unsettle him. The first couple times they happened after he left the hospital, he had to check himself in the mirror to make sure that he was _Shinichi_ and not _Conan_.

It was real, though…the defeat of the Organization, his time in the hospital, the fear that ran through him after the dreams……and that he had confessed his feelings for Ran a few weeks ago.

After that, the panic attacks had been curbed slightly.

So, it was strange that he would get something like them, though he did have them once in a while.

But this wasn't the usual nightmare dealing with the Black Organization.

Shinichi frowned as he stared at the blinds that covered his window. _What was that? I don't remember much of it…being trapped, fear…that's what I remember. Trying to reason something about a kidnapping…_

Maybe it was just another figment of his imagination that his mind had cooked up.

Shinichi sighed and lay back down. _I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not as stressed as I was for the past three months…that went down when I told Ran I love her. But it all still happened, so there's a lingering trauma even if I deny it._

And, he knew very well that stress could instigate fear and anxiety, as well as lower the immune system.

Shinichi ran a hand through his hair. _But, still…usually, in the dreams of the Organization, I see them in it. Not just as a pair of boots on the other side of the door._

He'd had nightmares where he'd be captured by them, either as Conan or Shinichi, but every time it happened, they were in plain view.

And, he would vividly remember the dream when he woke up, too.

This time…the details were fading more and more as time went by since he woke up.

Shinichi sighed and closed his eyes. _I guess I'll try to go back to sleep, then. I've got another two hours before I have to get up for school. It was just a weird dream. Nothing to think more of._

* * *

"Ya~wn!"

Ran giggled as she peered over at her classmate/friend/lover. "Up late reading, Shinichi?"

Shinichi grinned in response. By the time he had woken up again, he had just about forgotten the nightmare. So, his daily routine went uninterrupted, and he met up with Ran so they could walk to school together.

"Holmes again? Or another detective novel?" Ran teased him. She held nothing against him when he confessed everything to her in the time he was 'missing'. She had found out about him being in the hospital from Kazuha, who had been visiting Heiji…

But she couldn't bring herself to visit him when he was awake. It was about a week after he had been discharged from the hospital that he called to meet with her, and told her everything.

If anything, the information had served to deepen their bond.

That, and Ran found something that Shinichi was afraid of. A couple things, actually. He had been afraid of the Organization, afraid of anyone he knew getting hurt…and, he was afraid that she would hate him.

For Ran, that was actually what allowed herself to forgive him. As odd as it sounds.

"Nah…just thinking about this and that, and didn't realize the time…" Shinichi finally responded.

"Ah…thinking about what?" Ran prodded him for information.

"N-nothing!" Shinichi stammered. _I can't tell her that it was a nightmare that woke me up…how lame is that?_

After all…he didn't even tell her about the nightmares he'd had about the Black Organization.

"Uh, huh…" Ran's tone was disbelieving.

Shinichi scratched his head and looked away, then stopped.

"Shinichi?" Ran questioned when she saw his gaze harden.

They had been passing by some houses, including one that was said to be haunted and thus, nobody had lived there for over five years.

Yet, Shinichi saw something move behind the windows…a glimmer of light off a metallic object…

The scream was muffled, but the two still heard it because Shinichi had gestured for them to be silent.

In an instant, Shinichi took off towards the house, with Ran on his tail.

When Shinichi reached the window, he could see the figure…a lanky person dressed in a dirty overcoat with an equally dirty hat and a pair of boots…a knife in his hand as he held his victim against the wall.

And the victim…

Shinichi shouted at Ran as he pulled his fist back. "Ran! Call the police and an ambulance! And, _don't come in_!"

Ran skidded to a halt and nodded.

Shinichi smashed through the window as Ran pulled her cellphone out, then he pulled himself through with a shout.

The guy inside turned towards him, but in the dim light, Shinichi couldn't see the guy's features. Then, the guy turned and ran rather than go at Shinichi.

Shinichi was about to follow, when he heard a gasping breath from the spot he had just passed when he went to chase the criminal, and looked down with wide eyes.

It was a child, perhaps about ten years of age. He had short black hair and a scuffed up sweatshirt that was covered in blood, along with a pair of jeans with socks and sneakers.

He was still alive.

Shinichi dropped to his knees in front of the boy to assess the damage. "Hey! Can you hear me?"

The boy turned towards the voice, tears in his eyes. "H…hurts…"

"I know…" Shinichi pulled off his school jacket and wound it around the boy's chest and back to try and staunch some of the blood flow. _A kid…of all the murderers I've dealt with, to a kid…_

"I'm scared…"

"It'll be alright," Shinichi assured the boy as he tied off the jacket.

The jacket, which immediately soaked through with blood.

Shinichi swore to himself. _Dammit…he's losing too much blood too quickly. He was stabbed in the stomach and again in the shoulder…it might have missed his heart, but the stomach wound might have hit vital organs…_

The boy coughed harshly, and blood flew from his mouth when he did.

The cold realization hit Shinichi with a shiver down his spine.

_He's dying._

The boy sobbed as he clung to Shinichi's shirt cuff. "N-niichan…"

Shinichi sat down and gently moved the boy onto his lap. "It's alright. Don't be scared. Say, what's your name?"

"S-Souji Yuuichiro."

"Yuuichiro-chan, then?" Shinichi managed to smile for the boy. _The only thing I can do now…is try to ease his fear and keep him company. Maybe the ambulance will arrive in time…I can only hope…_

"N-niichan wa…?"

"Kudou Shinichi."

Yuuichiro smiled weakly. "I h-heard of y-you, niichan…"

"Yea?"

"N-niichan…? Am…am I gonna die?"

Shinichi's eyes went wide.

Yuuichiro coughed, which brought up some blood as his hazy eyes focused on Shinichi's pale face. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he gripped weakly onto the presence of the teen that held him. "It hurts…but not as bad…as before. I d-don't wanna die…"

Shinichi gently cradled the boy in a hug. "I don't know. There's an ambulance on the way…"

"Mama…was gonna pay. He said…I was useless, now. I…" Yuuichiro coughed again, which produced more blood.

Shinichi just sat there silently as he tried to comfort the boy. _A kidnapping. That man kidnapped him, and made a deal to exchange money for the kid…but killed the boy. _

It would be the second case within two weeks of a child that was kidnapped that turned up dead after the parents agreed to pay the ransom. The police wouldn't even tell Shinichi the details about the case, which baffled the teen.

"I…don't wanna…be alone…"

"You're not alone. Niichan is with you," Shinichi replied quietly.

More tears. "But…if I die…I'll be alone…"

"You won't. I'm sure there's someone that will be with you."

Yuuichiro seemed to think about that, then sniffled. "Grandma…she died last year. Will…will she know me…?"

"Yea. She'll be there to welcome you with open arms." Shinichi pushed down the emotions that swelled within him. Of all the things he had to do as a detective, this was the hardest.

It wasn't the first time he had arrived at a scene too late. Not the first time he had to sit next to someone as they died. In fact, Haibara's sister had passed away right next to him after talking to him.

But it was different, now.

This was just a boy.

A boy that was no older than ten years.

A boy that clung to him as he held him in his lap…he couldn't do that with Akemi Miyano.

Yuuichiro seemed to take comfort in Shinichi's words, and smiled. "I…won't be alone, then……niichan?"

"No…you won't." His throat constricted slightly.

Yuuichiro's eyes started to slide shut. "It…doesn't hurt…anymore, niichan."

Shinichi could faintly hear the sounds of sirens headed their way, but he knew, despite not wanting to believe it, that it was too late.

"Niichan…"

Shinichi held the boy securely, and gave him a nod as he mustered up a smile. It was painful, but the least he could do was assure the boy. To make sure the boy wasn't scared when he left.

Yuuichiro smiled again. "…thank you, niichan."

Shinichi's eyes widened as the boy's grip on his shirt slackened…and then, gave way completely.

If it weren't for the blood and the lack of breath, one would have thought the child simply fell asleep.

But Shinichi knew better. He knew the child wasn't just asleep. He also knew that no amount of CPR would revive the boy.

_"…thank you, niichan."_

The sound of Shinichi's anguished cry for the child was drowned out by the sounds of the ambulance and patrol cars that pulled up to the building.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	2. Chapter 2

Notes:

Any _italics_ in the chapter separate from the characters/on its own line are flashbacks/memories.

"keibu" means "inspector", and is what Megure is referred to as.

"-kun" is a suffix used typically for addressing boys (though, it's occasionally used for girls) that are younger than the speaker.

* * *

Chapter 2

By the time Megure, Takagi, and some of the forensic units had gotten inside, and the body of the child carried out in a body bag on the stretcher, Shinichi had composed himself.

All traces of his pain and the tears he had shed for the child was gone. It wasn't the first time he had shed tears over a victim…but, like those times, he never let anyone see. If he didn't reign himself back immediately afterwards, he wouldn't be of help to anyone.

And right now, the least he could do was find the sick man that had murdered that child.

Shinichi glanced at his hands after he finished calmly telling Megure and Takagi what he had seen of the criminal.

"Wore a brown trench coat and a matching hat pulled over his head. It was too dark to see his hair, but it might have been black. Built like a man, and around 170cm tall. The weapon was a knife that he took with him…"

_Blood…there was blood on the ground around the bodies. One was a child a couple years older than him, mouth still open in a silent scream…_

Shinichi winced and shook his head. _What was that, just now? Focus, Shinichi! For that boy…you have to focus!_

The high school detective then turned to Megure. "It was a kidnapping case. Souji is the name of a large financial companies. The criminal probably kidnapped the boy for money, then killed him when the deal was made. The phone in the house is still in operation. For a house that's been abandoned for five years, it shouldn't have phone service."

Megure nodded thoughtfully.

"I just contacted the Souji family…" Takagi hung up his mobile, face pale and slightly grim. "They confirmed what Kudou-kun said. Three days ago, Yuuichiro disappeared from the park he had been playing at. Since yesterday, they've been in contact with the criminal. Apparently, the criminal told them that if they went to the police, they would kill the boy."

Shinichi cupped his chin in his hand. _So, they were too afraid to even contact a private detective. Then, this morning, the deal was sealed. Yuuichiro was kidnapped from the park……park?_

A sharp pain seared through his head, and he flinched. Yet, he hadn't been struck.

_He bounced the soccer ball from his knee to his foot, then let it hit the ground before he kicked it against the wall. Before he could move to stop the ball from going past him, a sharp pain hit the back of his head, and his vision went black._

"Kudou-kun? Are you alright?"

Shinichi glanced over at Megure. "Eh?"

Megure had a concerned expression on his face. "You're pale."

"It's nothing! I was just thinking…" Shinichi paced a bit despite the slight headache that was building. "What park was he at? Beika Park?"

Takagi nodded. "According to the boy's parents, yes."

"Still, it doesn't seem like we can do much right now…the criminal escaped…"

Shinichi followed the trail the criminal had taken out to the back of the house, and opened the door.

The back of the house had a small back yard, and a fence that separated the yard from a stream that ran out back.

_The water was freezing, and it was dark. He felt cold all over, but he knew that he had to get back to the surface. He could swim, so he had to swim away. If he was caught, he would be killed…_

Shinichi stumbled, a hand to his head, and braced himself against the fence. _What the hell is going on!?_

He shook it off and took a couple deep breaths, then let them out. _There are marks on the fence…the criminal climbed it and ran down the other side. No prints…forensics can at least compare the prints in the house to find out a little about the shoes the guy was wearing. _

When he came back into the house, they had the scene arranged as Shinichi had described it before he moved Yuuichiro's body.

Shinichi stared down at his hands, which still had some blood on them, then clenched them into fists. _I couldn't save him. Dammit! If I had gotten there just a minute earlier…just one minute…!_

"Kudou-kun," Megure interrupted his thoughts. "We can't do anymore right now. We'll report this back to headquarters and continue the investigation from there."

"Continue?" Shinichi frowned. "Keibu, is it possible that this case is connected with the kidnapping case from a week ago? A child was killed in that, with similar circumstances. The parents were too afraid to contact the police, and didn't even hire a private investigator for it…"

Megure looked a bit shocked. "How did you find out about that?"

Shinichi grinned, though he didn't much feel like smiling. "Heard it from tousan."

Megure sighed in exasperation, and mumbled under his breath, "I thought that _he_, of all people, would understand and keep it _quiet_…"

"What was that?" Shinichi blinked.

"Nothing, nothing! You should go on back home and rest…talk to your father about what you saw, or us. I'll call your school and let them know you won't be coming in."

Shinichi tilted his head quizzically.

Takagi placed a hand on Shinichi's shoulder. "You've been on a lot of cases with us, Kudou-kun…but this is the first one where a child was murdered. It…leaves a lasting impression."

Megure agreed. "Go home, get some rest…don't keep your emotions bottled up. That's what I tell to even our own officers when they first have to see something like this."

Takagi nodded in confirmation. He had received a similar speech on his first homicide investigation that involved a child.

Shinichi narrowed his eyes at the inspector for a moment. "I feel like I'm being chased off the scene for some reason…"

Megure shook his head. "No, no…this sort of thing is traumatizing! You need to change your cloths, too…"

Shinichi glanced down, and gulped around the sudden lump in his throat at the blood on his cloths and sneakers…

_Some of the blood was fresh. Or was that because it was a bit wet inside the room? Either way, It came off on the bottom of his sneaker. He could hear the 'squelch' as he stepped past the body. An apology tumbled from his mouth to the one that would never hear it._

"Kudou-kun?" Takagi steadied the teen when he stumbled.

"Go home, Kudou-kun," Megure stated in a tone that left no room for argument.

"We'll wash your school jacket…though, I'm not sure you'll want it back…but, I agree with Megure-keibu. Go on…Ran-san is waiting outside…" Takagi gently pushed Shinichi towards the door.

"Ran's still here?" Shinichi's eyes widened. _Don't tell me…she saw the boy before they got him out?_

Megure and Takagi watched as the teen ran out of the house.

Takagi glanced at his superior. "I know he didn't look well, but…why the urgency to get him out? Why not tell him the details? He was able to figure them all out, anyway…"

Megure sighed. "I made a promise to Yusaku that I wouldn't unless I had to."

Takagi scratched his head in confusion.

Megure merely turned back to the forensic squad. _It seems as if he might be starting to remember…that incident ten years ago…_

* * *

"Ran!"

Said girl looked up when she heard Shinichi call her name. Joy flooded her face as she sighed in relief. "Shinichi! They carried someone out in a body bag…it was too small to be an adult……"

The reason she trailed off was when she caught sight of the stains on his shirt and pants.

"Sh-Shinichi…blood…" Ran rushed over to him. "There's blood…!"

"It's not mine. It belonged to the boy…" Shinichi frowned and glanced at the spot where the ambulance had once sat.

Ran's hands flew to her mouth as tears filled her eyes. "Boy? It was…a child?"

Shinichi nodded.

"You knew…when you looked through the window…that's why you told me not to come in. Because the child had been killed…"

"No…not necessarily." Shinichi looked away from her. "He was still alive when I got there."

Tears rolled down Ran's cheeks. _Shinichi…then…you had to sit there and watch a child die…_

She couldn't even imagine what she would feel in that situation. Would she have been able to keep calm?

Probably not.

She hadn't heard any screaming or frantic calls since she had hung up the phone. She did peer through the window at one point, but all she saw was Shinichi's back as he sat, cross-legged, on the floor. Though, she thought she had seen a pair of jeans sticking out on one side…

Realization hit her. _He had the boy in his lap. That's why he has blood all over him. Shinichi must have known…the boy's chances of surviving before the ambulance would arrive. So he…_

"Ran?" Shinichi's head still pounded, and he felt slightly ill from what had just occurred, but didn't let it show. It wasn't that it didn't affect him…it was that he never let anyone see just how it did affect him.

Like the tears he had shed earlier when nobody could see. The pained scream that was covered by the sirens.

Just like his nightly panic attacks once the Black Organization went down.

"Ran?" Shinichi called again in concern. "Are you alright? You didn't see, did you?"

Ran shook her head. "You idiot…"

Shinichi blinked in confusion.

Ran lunged forward and threw her arms around his neck and shoulders, then pressed her face into his shoulder. "You big idiot!" _You're worrying about if I saw the body of a child…when you had to sit there as the child died…the painful feelings I have right now as I try to imagine it…they probably can't even scratch the surface of what you're feeling._

Shinichi was stunned for a moment, then slowly reacted as he raised his arms and pulled Ran into an embrace. "Hey…don't cry, Ran."

Ran sobbed. _You idiot…I'm crying for you._

Even she had noticed how pale he was when he came out of the building, and she doubted it was all because he worried whether or not she had seen the body.

She wasn't a detective, but she could tell…the hidden emotions that swirled in Shinichi's eyes, and how he didn't meet her gaze so she couldn't see…

Yet, he wouldn't ask for comfort.

She knew that.

The only way she could comfort him…was if she asked for it, first.

Shinichi felt a tremor run through his body as he held the sobbing girl, though he wasn't sure what it was from.

The pent up emotions of what he had seen, or his relief that Ran _hadn't_ seen what he did.

But, he pushed it down again as he held her. "It's alright, Ran."

Ran was silent a moment, then whispered, "Will you be okay?"

Not 'are you okay'…because she knew he wasn't. And, she knew that, if she asked if he was, he'd lie and say 'yes'.

Still, he replied with a 'yes'.

Though, Ran noticed that he had tightened his hold on her slightly.

That brought a small smile to her face. Even if he didn't admit it…even if he didn't really show it…she had been able to help him, even just slightly.

Chiba, who had been instructed to drive Shinichi home, glanced out the window of the patrol car that waited for them with a small smile. He wouldn't interrupt until they drew apart from each other. Or until he got yelled at for waiting on them despite orders to "take the kids home _now_".

Whichever came first.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	3. Chapter 3

Notes:

Inspiration for some of the chapter was taken from Fullmetal Alchemist (chapters 43-44; Brotherhood episode 20), to head off reviewers that might point it out. Yes, I'll admit to some of the idea coming from that. However, there is a ring of truth to the symptoms of trauma, so the other half is taken from personal experience with how it feels. Though, I must say, FMA pretty much hit the nail on the head for what it feels like to go back to a spot where a traumatic situation occurred.

Again, any _italics_ that start a paragraph on its own are memories/flashbacks. Other italics are character thoughts.

"Kuso" means "Damn"…I try not to use Japanese in my writing lately, but sometimes, it expresses a feeling or emotion better than the English equivalent.

"Kaasan" means "mother/mom". I don't watch the English version of DC, so I don't know what Shinichi calls his parents (if it's "mom" or "mother", so I went with "kaasan").

"-chan" is a suffix used to address children, though parents often use this term as well to talk to their child no matter what the age of said child (ie- Yukiko Kudo still calls Shinichi "Shin-chan").

* * *

Chapter 3

Yukiko nearly jumped Shinichi the second he stepped through the door, though she paused to wave to Chiba, who was in the car by the gates waiting to make sure someone was home.

Chiba held up his hand in response, then pulled away to bring Ran home so she could change her cloths and go to school. Shinichi was excused, but she wasn't since she wasn't directly involved. Though, since she had hugged Shinichi when not all of the blood on his cloths had dried, she would need to change her cloths, too.

Chiba did _not_ look forward to explaining to the overprotective Kogoro Mouri how his daughter got blood stains on her clothing.

"Stop that, kaasan! I'm fine!" Shinichi protested and pulled from her grasp.

Yukiko sighed and closed the door behind them.

"I heard what happened. Megure-keibu called," Yusaku said as he entered the foyer from the study. His usual smile was gone, and he gazed critically at Shinichi from behind his glasses.

He agreed with Megure…investigating homicides was different when the victim turns out to be a child. Shinichi had always been smart and wise for his age, but he wasn't even technically an adult…and some adults couldn't handle seeing a child brutally murdered.

Let alone watching them die.

Shinichi said nothing in response to his father's statement. His head throbbed, and the nausea still lingered. It was getting harder to keep up the front of being fine as he tried to push back his feelings on the boy's death…and the strange images that came to his mind.

Or were they memories?

"Shin-chan?" Yukiko placed a hand on his shoulder.

Shinichi pulled away. "I'll go take a shower."

"We're talking afterwards," Yusaku stated.

Shinichi glanced at him, then looked away in resignation. His father rarely put his foot down when it came to him, but this time, he knew that the man was dead serious.

Yukiko watched her son wearily trudge up the stairs, then turned to her husband with a concerned expression. "He'll be alright, won't he?"

Yusaku sighed. "Hard to determine right now. According to what Megure-keibu told me, it's possible that this incident has triggered the suppressed memories he has."

Yukiko bit her lip. "You mean…?"

Yusaku nodded. "I had told him about the kidnapping cases when he asked me. He wasn't on the scene at the time. I didn't think they could be connected…but it seems as if they might be."

"Then, Shin-chan would know that, too…"

Yusaku gave a small nod in response. "I'm sure he's figured it out, yes."

Yukiko said nothing, then headed up the stairs when the water turned on.

Yusaku watched with concern in his eyes. _Shinichi…_

* * *

At first, he had been slightly numbed as he stared at the running water. Some of the blood that had stayed on his skin rather than on his cloths ran pink as it reached the drain of the shower.

"…_thank you, niichan"_

Shinichi swore and slammed his fist against the wall. _I was too late. I couldn't help him. If I had been just a minute earlier…I could have stopped the guy from stabbing the kid. I couldn't even see the bastard's face to tell the police! _

He often wondered what it was that drove other people to kill each other. Even though he was a detective, and regularly figured out motives, he couldn't understand them. He could never sympathize with them, either.

Nor could he ever approve.

Nothing justified murder.

Nothing justified a crime.

Killing another person was taboo. It was something horrible…something irredeemable. And that was in terms of killing an adult.

The murderers always had motives…usually hatred, jealousy, or anger.

But to target a child that couldn't have possibly caused any of those feelings…

To kill a young boy just for money…

Shinichi felt ill thinking about it.

"Dammit!"

And, what was with the strange flashbacks he was getting?

_It's not the first time I've seen a dead child_.

Shinichi started at that.

But, how could that be? Even with all the cases he had been on, even as Conan, no child had died. But he knew…in the back of his mind…he had seen a dead child before...

_The room reeked of sea water and rotting fish…as well as other things starting to rot. He quickly found the source…it wasn't dead fish like he had first thought when he was thrown in the room._

_It was a body._

_No…two…three…three bodies. One was older than him by maybe two years. Another was probably a young teenager. And the third…the third couldn't have been older than five years old._

_The stench was from them…the piled bodies. The stale blood. _

_He gagged._

Through sheer willpower alone, Shinichi was able to hold back his breakfast as he fell to his knees in the tub. His breathing came out harsh as he gripped the side of the tub tightly. He couldn't distinguish the water that ran down his face at the moment…whether it was from the showerhead, from sweat…or tears.

It couldn't be tears…he wasn't crying…was he?

He couldn't tell in the shower and with how horrible he felt.

But he knew…something had happened. _I…was held in that place. A cold place. With other kids that had been killed._

Shinichi frowned. But, who had taken him, and when…?

_"I'll leave you here, brat. Though, you'll be dead even if your parents pay. You've got a mouth on you, I'll admit. All the others were scared shitless, especially when I threw them into this room…" it was a deep, male voice._

"_I know your face!" he shouted back, then smirked. "I know what you look like, ossan. I'll get out through that window and tell the police. They'll catch you and throw you behind bars for kidnapping and murder!"_

_The man stared at him, then started to laugh. "You'll be long dead before then! And, you might be a bold kid, but to get to that window…you'll have to go over the bodies of my previous victims."_

_His eyes widened, and he jerkily glanced over in the direction of the horrid smell. Three kids lay there, with crusted blood around them and on them. The smell hadn't been from fish or the ocean, but from the dead bodies of the kids…_

_The man laughed again as the child threw up._

_Despite his fear, the boy glared up angrily._

_Something was shadowed in the memory, but he could distinguish the brown trench coat and black hair under a dirty brown hat…_

Shinichi gasped and stood up. _That was him…that hair style…those cloths. A little different, but I think that was the same man I saw earlier today. Then, something happened…was it nine years ago? What other features did he have? How did I escape? Remember, Shinichi! This could be connected to the case!_

"Kuso!!"

Outside the bathroom, Yukiko cringed when she heard another 'thump' of her son's fist connecting with the tiles, and the pain in the swear word that came from his mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. _Shin-chan…_

* * *

"Show me."

Yusaku and Yukiko stared at the teen that stood resolutely in front of them.

Shinichi had gotten changed into a blue long sleeve polo shirt with a darker blue collar over a dark orange t-shirt and a pair of jeans with white socks.

"Show you what?" Yukiko blinked in confusion.

"You must know, right? I've figured out only some of it. When I was around seven, I was kidnapped. Hit over the head and knocked out when practicing at Beika Park, then moved somewhere else. Where was I moved to? I must have gotten out somehow. Either that, or I was found."

Yukiko looked away.

Yusaku sighed. "Shinichi…"

"Please, tell me!" Shinichi demanded. "I think the kidnapper from then is the same as today's killer! He wasn't caught, was he!?"

"No…he wasn't…" Yukiko mumbled.

"I _know_ I saw his face ten years ago! But I can't remember! Maybe if I went to where it happened…where he had me tied up…I'll remember! If we have his face, we might be able to find him!"

Yusaku frowned. "It's better if you don't remember the rest of it. What you saw that day…"

"There were dead kids there."

Yusaku and Yukiko jumped a bit.

Shinichi felt a bit nauseous, but ploughed on. "I have to know the truth. I have to find out. I have to remember before there's another victim like Yuuichiro!"

Yukiko shook her head. "Shin-chan…"

Yusaku interrupted. "Very well."

Yukiko stared at her husband in shock. "What!? But…"

"Perhaps we'll catch the kidnapper if he remembers. And, he'll start looking even if we don't agree. It's best, at this point, to go along with it. I'd rather have someone with him than let him search for traumatizing answers on his own."

Yukiko sighed, then conceded that her husband was correct. "Very well…"

Yusaku gestured for Shinichi to come with him as he explained. "We don't know all the details. But, ten years ago, you were indeed kidnapped. The man demanded money in ransom. You had figured out at that time where you were, and tried to tell us, but he cut you off."

Shinichi listened as they put their shoes on and got into the car. Though his parents preferred a motorcycle, his father _did_ own a car.

Yusaku backed out of the garage, then drove along the streets as Shinichi sat in the passenger seat.

The man continued, "We didn't know where you were, however. And, we don't know exactly what happened. A couple hours after the call, you turned up at the Haido Police Station. According to them, you were dripping wet and had a few cuts and bruises. Before you collapsed from fever and exhaustion, you said there were others at the old ship at the port."

Shinichi frowned as he listened. _So…I'd somehow escaped. Through that window, maybe…? Wait, the old boat? That supposed ghost-ship that was never moved? I get it! If that's the case…then the cold and dampness, and the wetness of the ground, would make sense…_

His stomach clenched a bit as he continued to think about it. _It was an old fishing boat…nobody would distinguish the smell of fish gone bad to the smell of a rotting corpse…_

Yusaku glanced at his son when Shinichi gripped the shirt material by his abdomen. But, he still ploughed on. "You didn't remember what happened when you woke up in the hospital. Just vaguely that you had been kidnapped and somehow escaped. After time, even those memories were pushed down. The police investigated the boat, and found three bodies below the deck along with the smashed window. I also investigated the scene with Megure-keibu. You had broken the window and jumped into the water was what we concluded."

Shinichi gritted his teeth. "But the criminal got away."

Yusaku nodded. "We found no trace of him there. He must have heard the glass break, or saw you were gone when he went to check up on you. You didn't seem to have encountered him during your swim and run to the police station, so he just flat out fled."

"Just like this morning…he had a knife, and I had no weapon. He could have taken a swing at me, but just chose to run…" Shinichi's left hand that gripped his shirt trembled as it tightened.

Yusaku frowned as he pulled up to Haido Port. "Are you sure you want to do this, Shinichi?"

"I have to. For Yuuichiro…and for myself. I have to know the truth."

Yusaku got out of the car with a short nod. "Very well. The ship is at the far end of the pier. We aren't parked too far from it."

Shinichi got out of the car silently and closed the door. Sweat beaded his forehead, and his stomach continued to ache as he stared in the direction of the run down boat.

"Let's go."

Shinichi nodded, and followed his father despite the fact that his breathing had increased from anxiety. He wouldn't let it win, though. He had to discover the truth. Even though his legs trembled and his palms were sweaty, he continued to walk towards the source of his anxieties.

**TO BE CONTNIUED…**


	4. Chapter 4

Warning:

Description of the "traumatic event", which includes more child deaths. Also, some severe swearing.

Notes:

Everyone responds to traumatic situations in different ways. I, myself, didn't actually throw up when I had to go back to the location, but it felt like I would. The idea for that part of the reaction, like I said last chapter, comes from FMA.

Once again, any _italics _that start to form its own paragraph rather than on the same line as a character's actions is a memory/flashback.

* * *

Chapter 4

Shinichi paused at the ramp that led onto the ship with a wince. The gnawing feeling in his stomach had only increased since he got closer, and he wanted to turn and run the other direction, far away from the ship.

His left hand clenched around the material of his shirt in front of his abdomen as he struggled to get his breathing under control. _Come on…you faced down the Black Organization. You sat in an abandoned house while a child died in your arms. You can handle this. The bodies aren't even there anymore._

Bodies…right…there had been bodies of kids in the room with him when he had been kidnapped.

Yusaku stopped and looked behind him when Shinichi spoke.

"No older than five…he had blond hair. Most recent…he must have been killed on the spot. Another, possibly eleven…also stabbed to death. Furthest one was the teenager, just under the window. Maybe around thirteen…brown hair…"

Yusaku waited silently. He knew the information, of course…they had found out who the people were and how they died when the autopsy was performed on the three bodies found on the ship.

Shinichi squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them and started up the ramp. _I have to remember…that man's face. I looked directly at him when he was taunting me…_

They got to the deck of the ship, then proceeded towards the stairs that led below deck.

Shinichi coughed and stumbled from the smell that came from below deck. Though the decaying fish had been cleared out, it was more of a memory of the smell.

Yusaku shook his head when he saw his son pale and double over. "I think this is enough, Shinichi…we shouldn't push it…"

"N-no…I'm not stopping." Shinichi regained his breath and quelled his nausea, then stood up with a determined expression, and walked past his father down the stairs.

Yusaku smiled slightly. _Sometimes, I can't tell which side of the family he gets that from…_

Shinichi trembled when he reached the bottom of the stairs. There was some dried blood that was on the wall, but only enough for a small injury. _He dragged us when we were unconscious…_

The first room they came to was like an office, and contained a desk with a phone on it.

Shinichi sucked in a breath.

_"Here we are, brat. Here's where you'll beg for your life so your parents know I really do have you."_

"_And if I say 'no'?"_

"_Then you die. I have no qualms in killing children. Ah…the phone is ringing."_

_The boy narrowed his eyes and tried to pull out of the ropes that held his hands behind his back as the man spoke into the phone that had a voice scrambler attached to it._

"…_yes. And, he's right here. Say something, brat. Or I __**will**__ kill you."_

_The child glared at him, then shouted into the phone. "A ship that smells of…!!"_

_Pain cut him off as the man kicked him hard in the gut, enough to knock the wind out of him and cause him to gasp and sputter._

"_Damn brat!" the man snarled. _

_The child didn't hear whatever else the guy said to his parents, since his ears were ringing, but flinched moments later when the boot came down on him again and again._

"_Fucking little asshole! If I didn't need you alive a bit longer to seal the trade, I'd kill you right here and now!"_

_He coughed in pain, but tried to glare at the man. Then, he grinned. "M-my father is a great detective. H-he'll figure it out…"_

"_Brat!!"_

_More pain. Then, he realized he was being carried._

"_Awake again, huh?"_

_When did he black out?_

_Must have been one of the kicks to the head…_

_He flinched when he was thrown in a room that reeked of something rotting and dead fish._

"_You can keep these others company while we wait for the call in return. Of course, you'll be joining these others once I get that call. I'll enjoy killing you, brat."_

"Shinichi? Hey!"

Shinichi wiped sweat from his chin, then realized that he had been leaning against the wall for support.

Yusaku had a hand on his shoulder and a frown on his face.

Shinichi coughed a couple of times, then doubled over. It felt like his stomach was trying to tie itself into knots while his palms were clammy like the rest of his skin. Sweat rolled down his face as he gritted his teeth against the overwhelming urge to vomit.

"Shinichi!!"

If he talked, he'd throw up…Shinichi was pretty sure of that fact. So, he just stayed silent and attempted to get himself under control. It was ten time worse than when he had shown a few people the spot at Tropical Land where he had been force-fed the Apotoxin.

"Let's go back…"

Shinichi swatted his father's hand away from his shoulder, and his voice came out slightly hoarse. "No. I'm starting to remember. That I shouted a warning in that room…and the next room…he threw me there in with the bodies…" _but…my stomach…_

Yusaku rubbed his son's back when the teen lost the fight against his nausea. _Be strong, Shinichi. You've come this far…_

Shinichi coughed a couple of times, then wiped his mouth with a grimace. His entire body felt shaky, but he pushed himself back up and continued down the hallway. _A storage closet on the right…that must have been where I was first thrown when I was captured…_

He stopped when he reached a door on the left. Though his hand shook, he reached out and grasped the worn knob…then yanked the door open.

Immediately across from the doorway was a bare patch of the ground that had a few broken and splintered crates by the wall.

Shinichi steeled his resolve and stepped into the room even though his feet didn't want to move. There was nothing when he looked at the rest of the room…just dark patches on the ground and a broken window at the end.

But he knew that there once was something else there. It suddenly rushed back to him in a swirl and a throb. He didn't even feel himself fall to the ground. Didn't hear his father shout his name in concern. Didn't even realize that he had thrown up bile once more.

Then, everything went black as the memories returned…

* * *

_His eyes widened, and he jerkily glanced over in the direction of the horrid smell. Three kids lay there, with crusted blood around them and on them. The smell hadn't been from fish or the ocean, but from the dead bodies of the kids…_

_The closest was no older than five, with blond hair matted with blood. He had on a pair of overalls, though it was difficult to tell with the dried blood and stab wounds. The body next to that was either ten or eleven years old…a girl. She had long hair that he couldn't tell the color of, and her blouse was caked in blood. Beyond her was a larger boy, probably around thirteen, whose unseeing eyes stared at the ceiling. All of them lay in a pool of what was probably their own blood and some sea water that had come in through a nearby tear in the side. _

_The crates behind him smelled horribly of fish gone bad and left out in the heat, and probably contained such creatures. That, mixed with the sight of the bodies and the smells combined…_

_The child threw up._

_Despite his fear, the boy glared up angrily._

_Beady gray eyes looked back at him from under a fringe of black hair. A long nose that looked like it had once been broken and not properly healed sat between his eyes and his mouth, which had a scar on the upper left of the lip. He wore a greasy brown trench coat and a matching dirty cap, with a pair of brown boots._

"_You…you killed them…" Shinichi rasped._

"_Oh…smart boy. Yes. And, you'll be joining them. You won't be escaping. Even if you broke the ropes, you'd have to step on the bodies to get to the other side of the room. I'll see you in a couple hours, then…for your final moments!"_

_Shinichi snarled as the man left and locked the door behind him. His mind raced. He felt sick, and he was scared…but he knew he had to get out. His father was smart, but he didn't know if the man could figure out which port the boat was stationed at with just the small hint. Even __**he**__ didn't know where he was. Just that he was on an old fishing boat._

_Shinichi choked on bile from the smell, then pushed that back and shivered in the damp air. The window was his only option. But that meant…_

_The child shook his head. He had to. There was no choice. Plus…maybe he could just step around them._

_But first, the ropes…_

_He looked around, then spied the broken crates behind him. It would work, he hoped._

_Shinichi slid over to a particularly shredded one and pressed the rope against the jagged piece of the crate, then started to move his arms up and down a bit._

_It hurt…his head hurt, too, and he was a bit sore from the beating. The chafing was helping, but he knew that the only way to get out and help the other kids by telling the story was for him to get out alive._

_He couldn't be scared._

_He couldn't be apprehensive._

_These other kids were counting on him to tell the police about where their bodies were._

_Shinichi narrowed his eyes in determination and continued the slow process of cutting the rope against the wood._

_After what seemed like eternity, there was a 'snap' as the rope broke, and he was able to pull his hands free._

_Shinichi stood up on slightly wobbly feet, then slowly walked over. The ground was wet, probably with the water that leaked into the room from the tear on the side. Still, it wasn't pleasant to walk on, as it gave the illusion that the giant puddles of blood around the bodies was still fresh._

_He stepped over the body of the five year old, and carefully made sure to step on the ground between them. The kids were packed together tightly, but there was still a size difference, so there was space to walk on without stepping on the bodies._

"_I'm sorry…" Shinichi apologized as he pushed back nausea. He continued his apology as he got over the next body, then paused at the final one._

_Shinichi gulped back tears and, again, got over the final body. The window was on a level of his head, to which he was grateful. If it was higher, then he would have had a problem._

_Shinichi paused and glanced back at the bodies. "I'll…I'll tell them. They'll find you. When I get out." He pulled his hand back, then let his fist fly into the window. It didn't break right away, and his right hand throbbed._

_But, he just tried again, and punched out with his left hand this time._

_The window broke, and Shinichi climbed up. There was no dock below him, but instead, it was all water. It was night time, so the water looked black below him._

_Like a sea of blood._

_Shinichi shook his head against it. He glanced back again at the bodies, then turned his attention back to the sea. Then, with a deep breath, he jumped out and plunged into the water._

_It was icy cold, and he had to resist a gasp at the sudden temperature change. Sure, it had been chilly in the room of the boat, but the water was frigid compared to that. Like he had just jumped into a freezer._

_Still, Shinichi swam back up, then gasped when his head broke the water surface. His hands and legs felt a bit numb already, and he had only been in the water for a few seconds. He knew he had to hurry._

_Shinichi squinted in the dark, only illuminated by some distant lights in the port. Thankfully, the boat was docked, so it wasn't a long swim. It was still a painful one, as his body was still sore from the beating. The images of the bodies were still fresh in his mind. He had followed his father to crime scenes before, but none were ever as bad as that. Kids around his age and older…_

_Shinichi shook his head and moved his numb limbs to paddle to the dock. He had to push a bit off the cement of the landing, but managed to grasp the top of the dock pavement after a couple misses._

_It was hard to grip onto it with numb fingers, but he finally managed on his fourth try. Then, he clasped his other hand onto the top, and half pulled, half pushed himself out of the water._

_He wanted to lay there and get his breath back, but it was only a matter of time until the guy knew he had escaped. If the wacko had heard the glass breaking…_

_Shinichi shook his head and weakly got to his feet. He was a bit dizzy, and it was harder to breathe than before. But, he started to run. His legs were heavy between what he had seen, the swim in the icy waters, and his waterlogged cloths. _

_Still, he persisted onwards._

_Since he had seen his father at scenes, he knew where the police station was. Especially now that he knew where he was. It hadn't taken him long to recognize Haido Port. He and Ran had visited the place a little over a month ago, after all, as their first step to the mysterious treasure hunt they had been sent on._

_He stumbled a couple of times, and fell at least twice._

_But each time, he picked himself back up. It was late, so nobody was on the street. Those that were out were drunks or people that didn't pay attention to the little boy that ran down the sidewalk._

_Shinichi gasped for breath, but smiled despite his wavering vision when he saw the Haido police station._

_He ran through the door, which startled the officers inside._

_The door slammed open, so the two officers in the room looked up in surprise._

_They were even more shocked to see a slightly injured, soaked, and shivering child with a serious expression on his young face._

"_Haido Port…" Shinichi gasped out as his vision blurred. "Old fishing boat there…three others dead. The guy…who kidnapped me…" _

_His legs didn't want to support his weight anymore, and he vaguely felt his knees hit the ground as his 'vision' became more of swirled lights and colors._

"…_killed…them…" _

_With that, he passed out. He had lucked out that he still had his school ID in his wallet, which had been in his pocket, else they would have had a field day calling his parents. Still, they rushed him to the hospital, and the investigation ensued…_

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	5. Chapter 5

Notes:

Sentences that start out in italics in this chapter are spoken sentences from someone over the phone.

"Ba'a'rou" is a slurred "Baka Yarou", which basically means "idiot". Shinichi slurs it when he says it, and I used it in the fic because it sounds better than just typing plain "idiot" into those lines.

"Tousan" means "father/dad". Again, I don't watch the English version, so I wouldn't know if he says "father" or "dad", since "tousan" can be either one.

* * *

Chapter 5

When Shinichi woke up, he groggily was aware of the fact that it was a white ceiling and not the dirty one of the boat that he stared at. There was a slight weight on his left arm, and he glanced over to see an IV feed that ran into the underside of his forearm.

"Shin-chan?"

Shinichi blearily focused on the speaker, and then noticed that both his parents were in the room. "…eh? How'd I…?"

"Yusaku brought you to the hospital when you passed out," Yukiko explained as she pulled the chair she was seated on closer to the bed.

"You were a bit dehydrated from vomiting, so they hooked you up to a feed to make sure you got the liquids you needed," Yusaku picked up on the explanation.

"Are you feeling any better?" Yukiko asked.

Shinichi frowned, then his eyes widened and he sat up. "I remembered! What happened…and the man's face!"

Yusaku smiled. "I'll go call Megure-keibu, then. They'll probably want to sketch it out. Rest until then. You've had a hard day." He was halfway out the door when he paused and spoke again, "Oh, and, Shinichi?"

Shinichi blinked quizzically.

Yusaku beamed, though the teen couldn't see it. "I'm proud of you."

With that, he left the room.

Shinichi stared after him for a couple moments, then sighed and arranged the pillow behind him to lean back on it. "I tend to see the inside of hospitals a lot lately…"

Yukiko chuckled. "I'm glad you're alright. Yusaku said it wasn't serious, but…you still went through that trauma all over again…"

Shinichi smiled. "It's alright. I'm glad I remember." _It hurts…but I'd rather remember. Those three kids…the one from last week…and Yuuichiro……we'll catch that guy for sure this time._

* * *

Shinichi was released from the hospital by the afternoon, after he described in detail the man that had kidnapped him ten years ago. When he was shown the sketch, he nodded to it…it was the perfect likeness, and even resembled a slightly younger version of the man he had seen that morning.

With databanks, even though they had a picture, they would be able to narrow down the suspects and possibly find the guy.

Shinichi figured he would be asked to come back to identify the man, and was even slightly put off when he was told to "go home and rest" rather than go with them to find anyone that resembled the picture.

He was a little tired, but otherwise, felt fine. The nausea that had come with visiting the place of the traumatic experience had gone away, and his headache was barely even there.

Still, Yukiko sent him to his room to rest.

Shinichi protested, but only half heartedly. Despite the hour he had slept in the hospital when he was unconscious, his father was right. A lot had happened that day, and his body couldn't keep up with his mind.

Therefore, he was tired.

Tired, but he couldn't fall asleep.

He was almost afraid to fall asleep…when he first fell into a non-medicated sleep after the defeat of the Black Organization, that's when the panic attacks had started. He had just re-experienced a past trauma…he didn't fancy odd dreams or bloody recreations of the morning's events.

So, he just lay in bed and stared blankly at a mystery novel in his hands.

When he was startled by the ringing of the phone, he realized that he had dozed off slightly. Not enough to actually get to the level needed for dreaming, but enough so that he realized that he had fallen asleep when he jerked awake by the sound.

Shinichi glanced out the window with a frown. It had been a crazy day, and it was only three in the afternoon.

His body wanted to rest, but his mind was still much to active to let him.

He hadn't said much to his father about that morning's events…same with his mother.

Shinichi stared at his hands a moment, then sat up and grabbed his mobile from where it lay next to him on the bed.

He wanted to talk to someone.

Someone that might understand.

His father was out trying to catch the kidnapper…and nobody else had seen what he did. At least, he didn't think so.

But, there was someone that had similar experiences. Someone that had even been kidnapped before. Though, the guy was seventeen when it happened…

Shinichi punched in the familiar numbers to his mobile, then waited until the other picked up. He took a deep breath, then let it out after the other answered.

_"Yo!"_

"It's me. Do you have a moment to talk?"

_"Yea…what's up, Kudou?"_

Shinichi gulped, then closed his eyes in resignation. "Hattori…a kid died in my arms this morning."

For a moment, there was nothing but stunned silence on the other end. Then, when his friend next spoke, the jovial tone was gone, and in its place was a serious one.

_"What happened?"_

At first, he couldn't say it. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall for a full minute or two. But then…the story came out. Everything. From the incident that morning to the memory he had just recovered.

And throughout it, Heiji Hattori listened in growing horror of the events that were laid out to him.

Yet, he remained on the line. He remained with his friend, despite the distance. He wasn't sure what to say when the story finished, but he still stayed on the phone. Then, finally, Heiji sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

_"Hell, Kudou…you're a freak'n magnet for trouble."_

And Shinichi couldn't help but smile. Couldn't help but chuckle.

Heiji could be considered to be his best friend. The guy had stuck with him through thick and thin, and even helped take down the Black Organization.

And now, Shinichi was exceptionally grateful for the other teen. Heiji, like himself, was gifted with a great mind for logic. Like Shinichi, he was wise beyond his years. Though a bit more hot-headed than Shinichi, Heiji still understood things that others didn't.

So, even though Heiji didn't know what it was like to have been in Shinichi's shoes that morning and afternoon, he tried to understand, anyway.

_"I couldn't, as I am now, understand what that's like. But, ya know what? I understand, Kudou."_

Shinichi smiled, and immediately felt like he could probably sleep now without any nightmares. With that one line, he was given the relief he had been subconsciously searching for since that morning.

"Thanks, Hattori."

_"Hah? For what?"_

Shinichi grinned and closed his eyes. "Never mind."

_"Hey, you can't just leave it at that, Kudou! What'm I being thanked for?"_

Shinichi just chuckled. At times like this, he was glad that he had been shrunken. If he hadn't…he might not have had the same experiences with the Osaka detective as he did. He might not have the friend he had now.

Someone he could say some of his insecurities to. Because he couldn't tell them to Ran.

Not a chance.

_"Hey, Kudou?"_

"Hmm?"

_"Anytime."_

His smile reached his eyes.

The burden lifted off his shoulders.

It would be a while before it was completely healed, but he knew that it was well on its way.

"Yea."

* * *

Apparently, the person that had called the house had been Ran, asking how Shinichi was doing. She had been surprised by Yukiko's answer when the woman told her about the day's adventure, and rushed over to the house immediately…

…just to come up and find Shinichi fast asleep on top of the covers, a mystery novel on the floor by the bed and his mobile near the pillow.

Ran smiled when she saw that. _Despite everything, he's resting peacefully. _She pulled over his desk chair and sat down by the bed. He looked a lot better than when she had parted with him that morning. Though he was still a little pale, almost all of the color had returned to his face.

Ran reached out and placed a hand to his forehead, relieved to find it cool. _No fever, then…his mother said that he opened up a past trauma. I sort of remember that…when he vanished for two days and turned up in the hospital. I think it was ten years ago. I had been worried, but he just smiled from the hospital bed and told me he didn't remember it, so it was fine._

Apparently, there was a lot more to it from what Yukiko told her. Though, the woman really didn't tell her any details. Perhaps his mother had left that up to him.

Ran giggled as she gently brushed Shinichi's bangs back. "Sometimes, you're _too_ strong, Shinichi. If you don't let someone in to help you, then…then…"

"…then, what?"

Ran pulled back with a startled yelp when he spoke, then glared at him as he opened his eyes. "Shinichi!?"

Shinichi yawned and blinked a couple of times to clear the sleep from his eyes. He had been awake for the past minute or so, but hadn't felt like moving even when Ran touched him.

"How long…?" Ran stammered.

"Just woke up, now…" Shinichi smiled up at her. He felt much better than before, though his body was still a bit heavy. _Guess I'll need more than a total of an hour and a half of sleep to clear this exhaustion and stress out…_

Ran sighed. "Your mom told me a bit about it. That you had gone in search of answers related to what happened this morning, and that it tied into when you were kidnapped ten years ago. She didn't tell me much else. Though, she said that she got a call just before I arrived…that they caught the criminal."

Shinichi was silent a moment. He _knew_ that she wanted to know. Knew that she was waiting for him tell her. He had just gotten out the story to Heiji half an hour ago. Did he have it in him to say it again? Recounting tough experiences wasn't something he enjoyed.

"Are you feeling better, now?" Ran must have figured that he wouldn't tell her.

"Tired, but yea." Shinichi stretched, then sat up.

Ran was silent a moment, then spoke softly, "Did you…talk to anyone? About this morning? Your mom said that your dad didn't have a chance to speak with you about it…"

Shinichi frowned, then nodded. "Yea. I called Hattori about an hour ago. Got off the phone with him half an hour ago…" _Fell asleep after that…_

"I see…"

Shinichi stared at her, then sighed. "Ba'a'rou. It's not like I'm hiding it from you. You were there this morning, Hattori wasn't."

"Why didn't you call me, then? Why Hattori-kun?"

"He's also a detective…we haven't shared each and every story about our cases to each other. It was possible that he had experienced something like that, too."

Ran fell silent.

Shinichi peered at her. "Are you…jealous?"

Ran flushed. "Wh-what!? No!"

Shinichi laughed.

"Shinichi!"

The teen detective grinned at her, then swung his legs over the side of the bed, leaned over, and pulled her all but onto his lap.

"!?"

Shinichi smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "Ba'a'rou. I love _you_, Mouri Ran. Hattori is my best friend. There's a difference. And, there are some things I've seen that I wouldn't want the person I love to know of…because she's an idiot that worries too much about other people."

"Shinichi…" Ran flushed, then rested her head against his chest. She was now seated comfortably on his lap. "I'll ignore the name calling in there and say that you're being sweet."

Shinichi chuckled as he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Shinichi spoke.

"I held Yuuichiro like this. In the house."

Ran blinked, and would have looked up to see his face if his head didn't keep her from moving her own. _Shinichi…?_

She could hear his heart beating in his chest…it sounded normal enough. It hadn't picked up in fear or anxiety, which was a good sign.

"It was the only thing I could do for him. His wounds were too bad to fix…I knew from the start." Shinichi closed his eyes. "He wasn't scared in the end. Though he was at first. Tousan told me when we were leaving the hospital that I was invited to the wake. Do you want to come?"

"Yes," Ran answered without hesitation. To pay respects to the child…_and to support this proud and strong person. _

After another pause, Shinichi spoke in a softer tone, "He thanked me."

Ran held onto his shirt where she could.

"Yuuichiro. At the very end…he thanked me. I couldn't save his life, and he didn't want to die…but he thanked me. For a good portion of the morning…I wondered…why did he say that? Why did he thank me?"

"Did you figure it out?"

"Mm…I think so. I think it's…"

"…that, though people always have a motive for killing or hurting someone else, you don't need a motive to help someone?"

Shinichi grinned. "Hey…no throwing my words back at me."

"But that's the reason, isn't it? Even he knew that he wouldn't make it, didn't he. You couldn't save his life, but you still helped him. Instead of chasing after the criminal, you stayed there with him. That's why he thanked you."

"You sure you don't want to be a detective?"

"I'll pass on it." Ran closed her eyes with a chuckle. _He seems cold and indifferent at times…and he's always running after criminals……but Shinichi has the biggest heart of any person I know._

Again, they sat in silence. About ten minutes passed until Shinichi yawned.

Ran smiled and pulled out of the embrace.

"Eh?" Shinichi blinked sleepily. Since he was still tired, the comfortable silence and the relaxed position had started to ease him back to slumber.

Ran giggled at his quizzical look. _Honestly…he can still look like such a little kid, even at our age!_ She sat on his side by the head of the bed, then pulled him down.

Shinichi waved his arms, but was off balanced, and fell on his side, half on the girl.

Ran shifted a little, then smiled at his confused expression as his head rested on her lap while he lay on the bed. "You're tired, right?"

The confusion disappeared to be replaced with a smile, though his cheeks turned red as a bonus.

Ran grinned. She was sure she sported a blush of her own, but brushed a hand through his bangs gently. "Rest. I'll be here. Let me do something for you, this time."

Shinichi's eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked back up at her, then his smile relaxed as he closed his eyes. "You win this time. Thanks, Ran."

"Baka. You don't have to thank me."

"Whatever you say, Ran. Hey, is this a weird time to say that I love ya?"

Ran giggled and leaned over to place a kiss on his forehead. "No time is a weird time for something like that. I love you, too, you mystery-loving idiot. Get some rest, now. You've had a long day."

"Only because you said so."

Ran rolled her eyes, but smiled. She continued to stroke his bangs, even when she saw his breathing take on an even pattern, and the slight tension on his face relax into slumber.

As she watched his peaceful face while he slept, Ran felt her smile soften. _You don't fall often…but when you do…I'll be there. Like all the times you've been there for me. I'll catch you. So, it's alright. It might be painful right now…but we'll get through it. I promise._

**THE END**

For the record, I do plan on writing a fic based off some of the situations I mentioned in the first chapter (and this one), when they brought the Organization down (and that battle, itself). I only have bits and pieces of it, though, but if my fanfiction-focus stays on Detective Conan for a little while longer, I'll attempt to write it.


End file.
